I feel like I only blog when something big has happened.
But hasn't something big really happened?
Oh yes. Yes it has.
A year ago, I was struggling with depression after a devastating breakup with my two year relationship with Alejandro. It was so fucking sad. I cried and cried. I would wake up in the middle of the night, realize that I was no longer with him, and cry myself to sleep. It was too much to handle for being a senior in college. But the bigger picture was that I had no idea where I would be in a year.
Now, a year later, I am in Seattle. The farthest point across the continental U.S. from home. Am I homesick? Sometimes. Is the weather dreary? It is. But do I absolutely adore my life here? You betcha.
I arrived in the middle of the night on August 2nd with just a suitcase. My new roommate, Ruth, opened the door and guided me to my room that was already equipped with a bed and sheets. "Welcome to Seattle," she said. The next morning, she took me on a walk around the neighborhood, and told me which bus routes are the fastest to downtown. She told me about the local ethnic restaurants near our house: Vietnamese, Ethiopian, Sudanese, Nepalese, Thai, and Szechuan. Absolutely delicious.
However I have one thing that I have to discuss, which I touched upon earlier: depression.
I have been on anti-depressants for a year, and it has helped me get through the tough times. However, I always carry this guilt, knowing that my brain depends on a prescription drug to be happy. I am slowly withdrawing from them, but it is difficult. Especially as winter in the Pacific Northwest is slowly creeping into my life, and it begins to get dark at 4 pm. And all the Seattle natives that I come across, knowing I'm from Florida, keep warning me about the "long, dreary, somber Seattle winters." OK I GET IT.
So, is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) a real deal for people like me? Am I just expected to get depressed during winter, with a lack of sunshine? Or is there a way I can combat this inevitable darkness, and find my own happiness with a cozy winter?
I find it hard to believe that only 16% of Americans suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. So you're telling me that the other 84% of Americans do not notice the lack of sunshine? That the months of cold wind, grey skies, and shorter days go unnoticed? I am just baffled by this. Can I overcome this disorder?
I think I can do it. However, I am currently unemployed, and it is mildly stressful (to put it lightly). But I am not freaking out. Because I want to stay in Seattle. I cannot move back to the South. I do miss the sunshine. However I don't miss the heat, or the lack of microbreweries, mountains, and democrats. It just doesn't work for me.
I guess the best alternative for me is to get more exercise, invest in a happy lamp, and treat myself to Vietnamese soup "Pho" (and of course, get a stinkin' job!). In the meantime, I will continue to wear my legwarmers, flannel, and mittens, and embrace a true winter for the first time, even if it includes some vitamin D.
But hasn't something big really happened?
Oh yes. Yes it has.
A year ago, I was struggling with depression after a devastating breakup with my two year relationship with Alejandro. It was so fucking sad. I cried and cried. I would wake up in the middle of the night, realize that I was no longer with him, and cry myself to sleep. It was too much to handle for being a senior in college. But the bigger picture was that I had no idea where I would be in a year.
Now, a year later, I am in Seattle. The farthest point across the continental U.S. from home. Am I homesick? Sometimes. Is the weather dreary? It is. But do I absolutely adore my life here? You betcha.
I arrived in the middle of the night on August 2nd with just a suitcase. My new roommate, Ruth, opened the door and guided me to my room that was already equipped with a bed and sheets. "Welcome to Seattle," she said. The next morning, she took me on a walk around the neighborhood, and told me which bus routes are the fastest to downtown. She told me about the local ethnic restaurants near our house: Vietnamese, Ethiopian, Sudanese, Nepalese, Thai, and Szechuan. Absolutely delicious.
However I have one thing that I have to discuss, which I touched upon earlier: depression.
I have been on anti-depressants for a year, and it has helped me get through the tough times. However, I always carry this guilt, knowing that my brain depends on a prescription drug to be happy. I am slowly withdrawing from them, but it is difficult. Especially as winter in the Pacific Northwest is slowly creeping into my life, and it begins to get dark at 4 pm. And all the Seattle natives that I come across, knowing I'm from Florida, keep warning me about the "long, dreary, somber Seattle winters." OK I GET IT.
So, is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) a real deal for people like me? Am I just expected to get depressed during winter, with a lack of sunshine? Or is there a way I can combat this inevitable darkness, and find my own happiness with a cozy winter?
I find it hard to believe that only 16% of Americans suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. So you're telling me that the other 84% of Americans do not notice the lack of sunshine? That the months of cold wind, grey skies, and shorter days go unnoticed? I am just baffled by this. Can I overcome this disorder?
I think I can do it. However, I am currently unemployed, and it is mildly stressful (to put it lightly). But I am not freaking out. Because I want to stay in Seattle. I cannot move back to the South. I do miss the sunshine. However I don't miss the heat, or the lack of microbreweries, mountains, and democrats. It just doesn't work for me.
I guess the best alternative for me is to get more exercise, invest in a happy lamp, and treat myself to Vietnamese soup "Pho" (and of course, get a stinkin' job!). In the meantime, I will continue to wear my legwarmers, flannel, and mittens, and embrace a true winter for the first time, even if it includes some vitamin D.
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